Coffee will be the death of me.

This morning was supposed to be the best Monday ever. We were supposed to get our car fixed and spend the entire school day laying in bed watching movies and catching up on Breaking Bad.

But his phone went off at 6am.

Come to work they said, so he left.

Coffee. It’s always there for me. I boil my water, grab my red Bonjour coffee press, pour in grounds from Brazil and wait. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

With a smile on my face and an almost ethereal high I press down… BOOM.

Boiling mothereffin’ bitch water and coffee grounds explode all over my chest, right arm, and leg. There are coffee guts all over the floor, my wall, sink… I want to cry.

My fiance comes back and helps me clean up and find Neosporin which I apply quickly but not before the sharp claws of my toddler sink into my red, blistering skin, while screaming, “MAMA!! GAAAAAAH!”

Gah=Boob.

And well, he left again and here I am.

Badly burned and enjoying some coffee.

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