1. I’ve been wearing the same pair of shorts a la Britney Spears circa 2010 for the past week. You know, the ones with the pockets showing? I’m a classy lady.
2. I ate a chocolate bar at Target. It was gross, didn’t pay for it.
3. I saw pictures of people I used to be friends with in real life on some trip and thought to myself, what a bunch of fucking assholes. We’re now just Facebook friends, whatever that means.
4. I thought about throwing a chancla at my kids just for kicks.
5. I still hate my fiance’s mom. I’m not even going to go there with that story.
6. I’ve been consumed by gluttony.
7. I want to go away for a weekend. BY MYSELF. No kids, no snoring fiance.
8. I punched my fiance last night. In his sleep.