Category Archives: Love is a battlefield.

It’s coming.

2015/01/img_3209.jpg

It’s already here.

The despair, the feeling that you’re thisclose to drowning. Running out of breath, running towards an exit, wishing you were anywhere but where you are.

But you’re there.

Sitting next to the person that’s supposed to be your light. But instead, sitting next to them is like being underneath a huge, ominous storm cloud.

It’s sucks and I’m sure there’s a more poetic way to say it but why waste your breath?

Relationships. The shitty ones will suck the life right out of you.

The end.

Advertisements

Love and then love them more.

Life.

So wonderful, so unfair, the innocent die, the wicked prosper, and we cling to the last bits of hope.

There have been so many deaths in my newsfeed not just of the old but of the young. Car accidents, sickness, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, all of them unsettling. I find myself complaining of not having things, THINGS, when so many friends and acquaintances are grieving and wishing they had people, people they loved and even hated back in their lives.

Put your phone down, turn off the screen, take a break from the online world and love the ones you hold dear today. Forgive the ones that wronged you but didn’t know better. Live with the living and remember the ones you’ve lost. Laugh, cry, hope, and grieve. Remember all the amazing things and people that you have and give them all the likes and double taps in the world.

Life is uncertain but your love doesn’t have to be. I wish you all a Happy Father’s Day may you live, laugh, and love everyday like it’s your last.

20140615-152130-55290509.jpg

20140615-152130-55290382.jpg

Mean is not a good look, on anyone.

I had to stop reading a certain daddy blog.

His latest post was a sarcastic one about well, if it’s ok to let kids see gay proposals why not let them watch abortions? Sarcastic of course but enough already.

I get it. You’re not a fan of abortion. I don’t think any woman that gets one is a fan either. It’s not a walk in the park and the consequences both physical and emotional are enough to deal with without assholes reminding you of what a shameless, heartless, irresponsible waste of a human shell you are, if they still consider you human.

Here’s the difference between letting a child view gay proposals vs letting them watch abortions being performed.

1. Gay couples from their proposals, to PDA, to advertisements, tv, radio, everything is out in the world. It’s no longer hidden or covert or under your great grandmother’s rock. Children 7 or 3 or any age see gay couples, interact with their children, have gay teachers, instructors… My daughter recently saw two women kissing. She giggled and told me she thought that was silly. I told her that they loved each other and that love is something spectacular and that we should respect everyone and the people they choose to love.

2. Abortion as out in the open as you may think it is, is still something shameful. Most of the open discussions end up with insults, threats, and all other sort of maliciousness towards the woman who has had an abortion or is sometimes only thinking about it. Yes, you get punished and apparently already have your spot reserved in hell for THINKING of having an abortion. Circumstances? Who gives a fuck? You are a whore.

3. Abortions are not performed out in the open. Even if you take a child with you inside a clinic they have no idea of what’s happening around them. My daughter will never come up to me and say, why was that lady in stirrups and why was there a doctor and nurses hovering over her? Was that some kind of jar? What was it for?

I don’t care what your opinion on abortion is, but stop being a god damn bully. No matter what god/deity/scientific factor you believe in respect is something we can all as a big, little, skinny, fat, chubby, fit, gay, straight, melting pot of a race can benefit from.

If you give a toddler a cupcake…

If you give a toddler a cupcake she’ll get frosting all over her face

The frosting will be distracting and she’ll end up dropping the cupcake on the floor

While she’s on the floor looking for her cupcake she’ll run into stale cheerios

The stale cheerios will remind her of milk and she’ll ask for some

While she’s drinking her milk she’ll decide that spitting it is much more fun and she’ll go around the house making little puddles of milk

The tiny puddles on the floor will remind her of water which will remind her of her half eaten pouch of goldfish

While asking for goldfish she’ll hear Dora in the background and run towards the tv where she’ll discover some laundry you just folded

The clothes are super cozy so she’ll decide to throw them all on the floor and lay there while screaming, mama, mama, mama… hi

While she’s on the floor she’ll see her bottle of milk and throw it on top of couch

Seeing the couch will remind her that she can climb up anywhere now as silent as a ninja, so she will

All the silence will freak you out so you’ll drop your mug of coffee and run into the room to find your toddler on the edge of the couch an inch away from falling down and getting a concussion/serious bodily damage, she’ll laugh

All the laughing will remind her that she’s hungry and chances are…

If you have a hungry toddler, you’ll have a mom on the verge of having a heart attack who will give her kid the cupcake she dropped on the floor that morning, for lunch.

Hey mama.

Hey mama,

Your kids are screaming and it’s all good. Mine are quiet right now but that doesn’t mean they weren’t turning my hair gray earlier. Never mind the stares, I get it.

Hey mama,

You’re out in pajamas on a Friday evening? I feel you, it’s my favorite look.

Hey mama,

You look amazing. I can’t believe you’ve ever given birth, I’m kinda jealous. Tell me your beauty and workout routines, I’m listening.

Hey mama,

Don’t keep tugging your shirt down every 2 seconds, I have stretch marks too. Battle scars don’t offend me.

Hey mama,

You’re beautiful and a hot mess. You’re imperfect, you make mistakes, but your love and irreplaceable patience are the building blocks of our future. You are amazing, no matter your size, shape, or quantity of hair on your head. You deserve to be loved and to love yourself.

Thank you, mama. You really are the universe.

You guys, I’m a soccer mom now.

Soccer mom.

A title I never thought would be relevant in my life.

Oh my, how the mighty have fallen.

There I was, on a muddy soccer field at the most ungodliest of hours. Yes, me. Standing for hours, IN THE SUN, not even remembering to reapply sunscreen every half hour. I cheered. I stomped. I yelled at my daughter to look at the ball. I was all of the things.

Soccer mom, that was me.

6 is the number of the beast.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

My 6 year old just threw a go-gurt at me. (Future in softball?)

Last night I had to calmly explain to her that I was her mother, not her maid. (Cleanliness is next to godliness, no harm will come to me? Be gone e-coli and salmonella, Lysol be my shield.)

I caught her trying to twerk. (My kid’s going to be the next Gloria Steinem, hope y’all.)

I wish I could confess that I sit around drinking sangria and eating gelato while letting my girls watch Miley twerk and hollering, “see girls, that’s how you get famous!” But I don’t. Shit, they’re not even allowed to watch those horrible Disney shows.

I never throw anything at them, cuss, physically punish them… Unless they’re driving me insane and I lock them in the closet for a couple of days, but that’s called a vacation, right?

Oh man, 6 has been quite the ride. Here’s to 7 not driving me insane.

P.S. Jeremiah left out the part where God looked at mothers and said, “sike suckas!”