Category Archives: Motherhood

Confession: I don’t want to be a mother for Mother’s Day.

My life is – Whiny kids, a whiny fiancĂ©, constant cleaning, zero privacy, no sleep, cartoons 24/7, in short: I am a martyr. The, a person who undergoes severe or constant suffering, definition of it.

I bet you already know what I want for Mother’s Day.

That’s right, I’ll gladly give up the flowers, mimosas, and the company of the ones that bless me with so much happiness daily… All for a little rest. Sweet, sweet, ever fleeting rest. To pee in peace would be divine. To not hear MOOOOOOMMY every five seconds would be a dream come true.

I am tired. I’m only human. I need some space. So please, please go away and have fun while I sleep and drool in the beautiful silence of solitude.

But please come back soon, I only need an hour or two. No matter how much I complain, I always miss them at the end.

Ain’t that something?

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28 days a hippie.

It’s been 28 days since I stopped wearing deodorant. No, I haven’t had anyone run away from me yet or scrunch up their nose as I walk by. All good signs, I think. I decided to stop wearing deodorant and sunblock (YIKES, I know) after reading several articles on the abundance of chemicals in our everyday products, even the organic ones!

It all started innocently enough. I was on Instagram and one of my friends posted a picture of the Think Dirty app. I was intrigued. I immediately downloaded it and started scanning like a madwoman. The app lets you scan the barcodes of products and then gives you a rating from 1-10, 10 being the dirtiest. It breaks down the ingredients for you and provides you with safer alternatives. It ruined my life.

Here I was living in a dream world. Buying all these expensive organic products thinking I was making a difference in my family’s life and well-being. But no, NO. All my fancy-shmancy products were scanning at a 7 and higher. What in the mother…? I was crushed. So, I sucked it up and wrote down changes, small attainable ones and bigger ones to work on.

I made an announcement. No more deodorant for me, no more of those awesome smelling body washes with the lab produced fragrances, no more sunblock or chemically packed anti-aging BS. My drawer full of products (actually it’s more like 3) was reduced to three items. Organic coconut oil which I’m using from deodorant to face wash, and 2 lotions from a brand called Acure Organics. One is a night lotion and the other one is a daytime lotion designed for sensitive skin that I’m using for my rosacea.

What about the sun and it’s evil cancer inducing rays? I do live in Texas after all… Simple my friends. I’m avoiding it’s peak time and when I can’t, I wear sunglasses and a hat. I try and seek shade and most of all relax and remember that the sun provides benefits also. I’m learning to enjoy it.

I’m enjoying life.

Here’s too 100 days of being a hippie. Live, love, laugh.

 

Motherhood unplugged.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I spend too much damn time on my phone. I run around after my girls obsessively trying to snap pictures. I’m overcompensating for the lack of images from my own childhood. I want them to have a reference of their past in case they end up having a shitty memory, like me.

But maybe for today I’ll try something different. I’ll put my phone away and run after them but this time – chase them with the purpose of enjoying their smiles and falling in love with their laughter.

Without a phone in their face.

Things my 6 year old says…

Overheard while in the bathtub with her sister…

So you’re white, I’m tan… We’re still sisters, it’s all good.

When asked how long her sister napped…

Oh, you know like an hour? No, maybe 2. No, wait… 2 hours and 50 cents.

When reunited with a friend she hasn’t seen for a week…

Oh my god, Jasmine! I haven’t seen you in like 30 years!

6 has been quite a ride but I don’t think I’m mentally ready for 7. My baby is getting older. How much longer will she be ok with sitting through Dora with her little sister? Or listening to lullabies? How much longer will she love me unconditionally and be ridiculously forgiving?

I can’t help but notice the baby leaving from her face and in place the beginnings of a beautiful, spunky teenager.

Oh, Lola. You have no idea how much I love you. You drive me absolutely crazy but I’m just as crazy – about you.

The babysitting box.

Dear parents who let their kids watch tv,

How dare you? I mean, what kind of people are you? Don’t you know that there’s all kinds of scientific and godly data showing that kids that watch tv turn into murdering assholes who can’t sit still? The fuck is wrong with you?

Oh shut it already.

I, like many other moms and dads, run around like crazy 24/7 after my children. I’m not complaining. I know what I got myself into but parenting is a job like any other, and in any other job, you get breaks. By law, you get your well deserved breaks. Now correct me if I’m wrong but I can’t think of many other jobs that are equally as exhausting and mentally draining as parenthood.

In what other blue collar job or fancy career are you forced to be the head of every single department and be solely responsible for executing everything from cooking, cleaning, planning, finance, and all and everything in between?

My toddler, still, does not sleep through the night. She’s 21 months. I’ve tried all of the suggestions in the world. I’m running on fumes here and still expected to do everything else. I do, half-assed most of the time but it gets done. The one thing I have in my favor is my fiance. He helps, he’s pretty spectacular.

Sometimes, I want to have coffee and update my blog. Sometimes, I turn on the tv so I can have 5-10 minutes to make my coffee and toast in peace. Most of the time neither of them will sit through more than one show, instead they’ll run around , playing and driving me nuts.

You do what you gotta do. If turning on the tv means you get some much needed moments of silence, peace, shower time (while making sure your child is safe, duh), then by all means, use the box. It was invented for a reason.

Glass houses.

I’m sick to my stomach.

I don’t understand how women, especially mothers, can be so hateful towards one another.

I decided to participate in two threads on Facebook today. One from Parents.com and the other from 24/7 Moms.

The question on Parents was, what’s for breakfast? Of course, right away I saw things like organic eggs, fresh baked bread, homemade jelly… blah fuck blah. So of course I responded that my kids were going to have organic free range brown eggs, local organic milk from a glass bottle, fresh baked gluten free bread, and homemade organic no sugar added strawberry jelly.

The fuck they are. I ended my comment with AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. She’s having cereal, not stale, if she’s lucky.

OMG worst mother ever, don’t you know cereal has additives? It’s the worst food ever. What kind of mother are you? My kids are having fresh maple syrup along with their fancy from scratch pancakes and brown eggs I picked this morning topped off with fresh fruit from my organic garden.

Listen ladies, get of my nuts cause they’re peanuts and you’re probably allergic.

I applaud you for having the time, patience, and culinary skills to make breakfast a perfect Instagram and Pinterest photo opt each morning but I shower maybe once a week and I’m tired from breastfeeding all night.

The next post was on 24/7 Moms, it was a woman asking for ADVICE and contemplating abortion. She is a woman of 30 with a small baby and a husband who recently got laid off and is also recovering from surgery.

MURDER. SELFISH. BE RESPONSIBLE. GUILT. HOW DARE YOU?

Really, ladies? Really, fellow mothers of the world? This is your definition of advice?

The poor woman is already depressed, I doubt she needs to hear what a fucking scumbag she is for THINKING about abortion.

Who the fuck made all these women perfect? They all have to be vegans. They all need to STFU and show some empathy.

Pro-life, pro-choice, whatever your beliefs are… Show some respect. Life is hard enough as it is.

Respect, aiight? Give some and get some.