Category Archives: Uncategorized

Don’t even care.

I eat junk food.
I fart.
I swear.
I, as if, and roll my eyes.
I eat yellow and red food dyes.
I drink un-organic shitty coffee.
I ate all the donuts, and pizza, and chips.
And will eat more tonight while watching cartoons or trashy reality tv.

I wish all of you a beautiful weekend filled with mistakes, adventures, and love!


What’s wrong with liking pink?

Lately, I’ve had plenty of moms go on about how their incubating daughters will not grow up to like pink or princesses. They rant on about how instead their girls will play with legos and not be doormats for men. They will raise strong and independent women. 

Get the fuck outta here.

Here’s why I’m proud that my girls like pink and run around in tutus pretending to be princesses:

1. They like it.

End of list.

Liking pink and or princesses is not a defining factor for whether a young girl grows up to be a doctor or a stripper. Pink is a color for crying out loud. It’s adorable, fabulous, fierce, strong, it’s anything you make it to be.

Princesses are not all whiny spoiled babies. They’re polite, kind, generous, host kick ass tea parties, can shoot arrows, refuse to get married, they can be everything and anything they want.

You know what’s going to be the most important factor in your daughters upbringing? YOU.  

You and you alone have the power and responsibility to encourage and raise your daughters to be strong, kind, happy, empathetic human beings who will do the right thing – Always. Whether they’re wearing pink or blue, playing with legos or barbies, whatever floats their boat just make sure they grow up loved and happy… and the rest? Let them paint their world in whatever color they choose.

Live, love, laugh and play princess with your kid.

I’m fucking fat.

Yes, I’m fucking fat. Yes, fucking, was a necessary adverb. And yes, it’s all my fault.

I’ve never been so fucking fat in my life before. I’d like to take this opportunity to make a list of countless excuses I have used and said to myself to justify the ballooning of my midsection. 

1. I don’t have time to meal prep.

2. Healthy food is way, totally, oh-my-god more expensive than junk food. 

3. I like my food like I like my sex – Fast, easy, and to the point. Ain’t nobody got time for romance or fancy dinners while you’re running around with kids ALL DAY AND NIGHT. 

4. I’m poor. I can’t just dump out all my bad foods. What the hell would I eat?

5. I’m tired.

6. I’ll start after my birthday/anniversary/holiday/random party/every weekend… 

7. It’s Friday.

8. Ice cream and chocolate are the only treats I can afford.

9. The toddler is throwing a fit.

10. The toddler is crying.

11. The toddler is itchy.

12. The toddler requests her breast. Yes, I still breast feed. Sue me.

13. The toddler is finally napping.

14. The toddler woke up.

And the list can go on and on… 

I need to do something, quick. I can’t keep letting myself go. 

And before any wrong ideas start brewing in your head I am not fat-shaming. I am self-shaming. 

The end. 


Running like a mother…

Just finished running my first 5k in a very, very long time.

Setting: Hundreds of mamas running with their kids, significant others, and waiting for the porta potty. Moms have small bladders. Long story short – I had a blast. I’m insanely out of shape but I didn’t place last in my age group. Granted, women twice my age, women with strollers, and sweet little elementary girls all passed me by but I loved it.

I felt like dying during my last lap but I made it. I’m here, not dead, to share this awesome experience. 

Not only did I see a wonderful display of motherhood and family but I learned it’s never too late discover or start doing something new that you might end up falling in love with. Running never appealed to me but look at me now… Writing about the Running Like A Mother 5K and glowing or maybe that’s just sweat but still.

P.S. You know that hippie trip I’m on? I SMELL. Coconut oil and hippie oils/deodorant rocks do not cut it when you run that much!


28 days a hippie.

It’s been 28 days since I stopped wearing deodorant. No, I haven’t had anyone run away from me yet or scrunch up their nose as I walk by. All good signs, I think. I decided to stop wearing deodorant and sunblock (YIKES, I know) after reading several articles on the abundance of chemicals in our everyday products, even the organic ones!

It all started innocently enough. I was on Instagram and one of my friends posted a picture of the Think Dirty app. I was intrigued. I immediately downloaded it and started scanning like a madwoman. The app lets you scan the barcodes of products and then gives you a rating from 1-10, 10 being the dirtiest. It breaks down the ingredients for you and provides you with safer alternatives. It ruined my life.

Here I was living in a dream world. Buying all these expensive organic products thinking I was making a difference in my family’s life and well-being. But no, NO. All my fancy-shmancy products were scanning at a 7 and higher. What in the mother…? I was crushed. So, I sucked it up and wrote down changes, small attainable ones and bigger ones to work on.

I made an announcement. No more deodorant for me, no more of those awesome smelling body washes with the lab produced fragrances, no more sunblock or chemically packed anti-aging BS. My drawer full of products (actually it’s more like 3) was reduced to three items. Organic coconut oil which I’m using from deodorant to face wash, and 2 lotions from a brand called Acure Organics. One is a night lotion and the other one is a daytime lotion designed for sensitive skin that I’m using for my rosacea.

What about the sun and it’s evil cancer inducing rays? I do live in Texas after all… Simple my friends. I’m avoiding it’s peak time and when I can’t, I wear sunglasses and a hat. I try and seek shade and most of all relax and remember that the sun provides benefits also. I’m learning to enjoy it.

I’m enjoying life.

Here’s too 100 days of being a hippie. Live, love, laugh.


A new beginning.

Tired mom.

That’s been my go to excuse. Not really an excuse either because I really am an exhausted mother. 

But there has to be more. Being a stay-at-home-mom can’t be all sacrifice and neglect. I do a lot of both. It’s time to stop. Tomorrow will be a new beginning in many ways. I will eat healthier, I will decrease my carbon footprint, I will love myself more, I will be a better person and in return, hopefully, a happier mom.

I’ve opted to take baby steps because drastic changes kind of freak me out and taking on additional stress just defeats the purpose. Here’s my list for the next week.

1. Drink hot water with lemon when waking up.

2. Limit coffee to one cup a day. (ok, ok maybe one BIG cup)

3. Stretch and take deep breaths for 5-15 min a day. 

4. Throw away all products that contain dangerous chemicals or fragrances, even if they’re organic.


6. Run.

Not anything crazy or major but here’s to hoping that they make a crazy and/or major difference in MY life.

Live, love, laugh.

An open letter to the world

I suffer from depression. I think we all do from time to time. My problem is that for some reason I also have the strong urge to jump out of a moving car sometimes or wish that a semi would hit me while driving (alone, not ever with my girls) and that I’d die instantly. This open letter to the world that you’re about to read is in no way a cry for help. I am not going to commit suicide, not because I don’t want to, but because I have something to live for, however much that may scare me.

Goodbye world. I leave you behind two young girls who I’ve hopefully not traumatized too much and that’s it. I am no one. I never accomplished anything or became anyone. I was mediocre my whole life, although at one point, I dared to dream of a different life.

The pain is too much and only gets worse every day. I feel like I’ve failed my daughters, especially my oldest. I look at her at times and see nothing but confusion in her eyes. She’s so timid and insecure although I’ve tried so hard to make her strong. So weak willed even though I’ve tried to push her to chase her young dreams, to be true to herself, to fight for what she wants, to fight for what’s right, too. 

The baby is a tiny little spit-fire, a full of love free spirit that mirrors who I was as a child, but only because I haven’t had the chance to fuck her up too much, I guess.

And my fiance? Well, he’s great, world. To him and my girls please be kind. Please show them some peace, some hope, let there be light in their life in spite of the darkness coming. Please, please, please make them not wish to understand. Let them just accept that I was flawed from birth and made into a mental case full of resentment before I even turned the ripe old age of eight.

I want to leave them with happy memories. I want them to remember me happy. I need to be happy because it’s all I can leave them behind.

If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal please call a suicide hotline or find someone to talk to. Writing helps me relax and ease my anxiety. Suicidal feelings are so hard to deal with and can sometimes come off as selfish to other people, even to the ones we’re seeking comfort from. It’s taken me a lot of tears to realize that although my world can go from sunshine to nothing at times I have something to live for, me.

I am the most important reason of all.

I love my girls even though I feel like a shit parent at times. I love the joys and sorrows I share with my fiance. I love life even though everything points to me being a complete failure. So please find something to live for and if you’re lucky enough to never have these horrible thoughts, please try to show empathy to those of us who do. We aren’t being selfish or dramatic. We aren’t attention seekers (this is actually my first time ever admitting these thoughts) and we definitely are not weak.

Please be kind, always.

XOXO, Jess