I die a little every time I sit in my 4×6 work station. Life slips away every time I’m standing (because sitting is unfriendly) at my desk, which really isn’t mine but just a general space where everyone congregates and over zealous moms forget everything they know about personal space.
I’m lucky to have these two jobs. Without them I wouldn’t have money for medicine, gas, water, power, and even the occasional overpriced Starbucks iced coffee. But still, they are killing me.
I get yelled at ALL THE TIME.
THERE ARE TOO MANY WIRES.
YOU BETTER MAKE THIS WORK.
I’M PISSED. I’M TIRED.
I’VE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS.
THE STUPID … JUST SHUT OFF.
I CAN’T CONNECT.
YOU NEED TO FIX THIS.
WHERE ARE MY REPORTS.
YOUR COMPANY SUCKS.
I HATE THIS SHIT.
BUT ON THE WEBSITE…
YOU NEED TO REMOVE THE FEE.
I WILL MAKE A SCENE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY KID WAS DROPPED FROM CLASS AFTER I WAS GIVEN TWO WEEKS TO PAY MY LATE CHARGES BUT NEVER DID?!???
So the moral of this short piece kids of all ages is – do what you love.
Keep on writing, drawing, playing, building… Don’t stop. Don’t end up soul less in a no-chance-to-ever-advance position.
It’s already here.
The despair, the feeling that you’re thisclose to drowning. Running out of breath, running towards an exit, wishing you were anywhere but where you are.
But you’re there.
Sitting next to the person that’s supposed to be your light. But instead, sitting next to them is like being underneath a huge, ominous storm cloud.
It’s sucks and I’m sure there’s a more poetic way to say it but why waste your breath?
Relationships. The shitty ones will suck the life right out of you.
I’ve been feeling a certain type of way.
A lonely kind of way.
All different shades of blue.
No escape, no light in sight…
Just sadness. But the type if sadness you feel creeping in. Slowly, but it’s there, like a knot in your throat. There’s been no consoling me. Mostly because I should be happy, content, at peace.
It’s crazy, really.
Maybe it’s the weather. But I’m in for a long, cold winter, and the forecast is looking grim.
I have them and they’re awful.
1. I’ve cussed out my annoying coworker about 1,000 times in my head already. We’ve only worked together 3 times.
2. I farted in the toy aisle of Target or the baby section, not sure. I’m very forgetful lately.
3. I’ve wished for time machines to exist and in my head I’ve changed my life a thousand different ways.
Also, I’ve just been wishing. Not for anything specific so I guess it’s just mostly sighing and hopeful dreaming of things that will never come true.
So wonderful, so unfair, the innocent die, the wicked prosper, and we cling to the last bits of hope.
There have been so many deaths in my newsfeed not just of the old but of the young. Car accidents, sickness, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, all of them unsettling. I find myself complaining of not having things, THINGS, when so many friends and acquaintances are grieving and wishing they had people, people they loved and even hated back in their lives.
Put your phone down, turn off the screen, take a break from the online world and love the ones you hold dear today. Forgive the ones that wronged you but didn’t know better. Live with the living and remember the ones you’ve lost. Laugh, cry, hope, and grieve. Remember all the amazing things and people that you have and give them all the likes and double taps in the world.
Life is uncertain but your love doesn’t have to be. I wish you all a Happy Father’s Day may you live, laugh, and love everyday like it’s your last.
Lately, I’ve had plenty of moms go on about how their incubating daughters will not grow up to like pink or princesses. They rant on about how instead their girls will play with legos and not be doormats for men. They will raise strong and independent women.
Get the fuck outta here.
Here’s why I’m proud that my girls like pink and run around in tutus pretending to be princesses:
1. They like it.
End of list.
Liking pink and or princesses is not a defining factor for whether a young girl grows up to be a doctor or a stripper. Pink is a color for crying out loud. It’s adorable, fabulous, fierce, strong, it’s anything you make it to be.
Princesses are not all whiny spoiled babies. They’re polite, kind, generous, host kick ass tea parties, can shoot arrows, refuse to get married, they can be everything and anything they want.
You know what’s going to be the most important factor in your daughters upbringing? YOU.
You and you alone have the power and responsibility to encourage and raise your daughters to be strong, kind, happy, empathetic human beings who will do the right thing – Always. Whether they’re wearing pink or blue, playing with legos or barbies, whatever floats their boat just make sure they grow up loved and happy… and the rest? Let them paint their world in whatever color they choose.
Live, love, laugh and play princess with your kid.
That’s been my go to excuse. Not really an excuse either because I really am an exhausted mother.
But there has to be more. Being a stay-at-home-mom can’t be all sacrifice and neglect. I do a lot of both. It’s time to stop. Tomorrow will be a new beginning in many ways. I will eat healthier, I will decrease my carbon footprint, I will love myself more, I will be a better person and in return, hopefully, a happier mom.
I’ve opted to take baby steps because drastic changes kind of freak me out and taking on additional stress just defeats the purpose. Here’s my list for the next week.
1. Drink hot water with lemon when waking up.
2. Limit coffee to one cup a day. (ok, ok maybe one BIG cup)
3. Stretch and take deep breaths for 5-15 min a day.
4. Throw away all products that contain dangerous chemicals or fragrances, even if they’re organic.
5. DRINK WATER ALL DAY.
Not anything crazy or major but here’s to hoping that they make a crazy and/or major difference in MY life.
Live, love, laugh.